So there I was, waiting patiently in line to check in to my El Al Airlines flight from Mumbai to Tel Aviv. I was chatting amicably with an older Israeli woman, with whom I had spent the day sightseeing, when the boy in charge of my check in asked us to separate. He informed me that a routine security check was now going to take place. Fine, I said. He said "whyareyoucomingtoisraelwhywereyouinmalaysiawherewillyougoin...
israelwhoboughtyourticketwhodoyouknowinisraelwhatisyour...
occupationwhydoyouhatemeisitmycircumcisionidontthinkthatis...
veryfairdoyouhaveanyelectronicitems?"
I said, yes a digital camera, a personal minidisc and a laptop computer. That answer catapulted me to high security risk and reinforcements were called for. His superior escorted me to a specially prepared room off to the side, where six or seven other cut-ees, and a couple of cut-ettes were waiting. The gloves were on and my shoes were off. My bags were opened, contents were sent through some sort of testing device out of my sight, and chai was delivered gratis. An hour and a half later (and thirty minutes before my flight was due to leave) I was told to repack my own bag and wait for detailsof my new flight. New flight? I asked, wondering what was wrong with my old one. Yes, El Al does not allow passengers to carry laptop computers to Israel.
But you didn't mention this when I first admitted to having a computer, why did you need to search my entire luggage? I asked. 'We just like to see what people are carrying' was the response, aided by a malicious smile. [OK that last little bit was made up, I won't allow a lie, especially one that may marginalise a particular culture, to seep into a blog post. That would be rather unbecoming of me, right Avi?]
So I was taken up to the office and arrangements were made for my further accomodation in Mumbai, at the 5 star, 2,500+ rupee (OZ$75) a night Leela Hotel. The next morning I was told that alternative arrangments had been made, and that I would fly to Frankfurt the following morning, and would be in Israel by midnight Saturday. No problemo.

If you like this story so far, make a comment along the lines of "and what happened next?" and I'll continue at a later date.